The self-worth/busy connection = bullshit.
“Hey, long time no see… what’ve you been up to?”’
“Oh, you know, sooo busy!” Sigh. Eye roll. Cue long spiel about your countless commitments, lack of sleep and little Johnny/Suzy’s umpteen dozen after school activities.
Sound familiar? This seems to be the standard response doesn’t it? Sadly, our sense of self-worth actually seems wrapped up in knowing that others can see how “busy” we are. Why is this? Have we become such a judgemental culture that our those around us will actually think less of us if we aren’t “sooo busy”? Do we really believe that our children need to be in non-stop activities, or that the school bake sale will fail if we say no?
Constantly trying to prove our worth is exhausting and while we’re so busy living our overscheduled lives, we’re missing out on the good stuff. All the best stuff is really in the little moments. Laughing around the dinner table with the kids. A peaceful cup of coffee on the back deck. Watching a beautiful sunset. A quiet walk in the park surrounded by nature. What kind of life is it if we don’t have time for these things, or worse yet, if we feel guilty when we do take the time?
If that isn’t bad enough, we’re so busy doing it all we are saying yes to things we really, REALLY, don’t want to do. The committees, the bake sales, and all the other bullshit. We create a life of absolutely no boundaries, and let’s face it if we don’t create boundaries then nobody will respect our time. Hell, we don’t respect our own time so why would we expect others to.
And in the midst of our super busy and important lives we not only forget the self care we deserve but we can’t give our best to those we love either. Your kids don’t need to be hauled around to every conceivable activity, they just need some of your undivided attention. What about the birthday card you forgot to send to because you were so busy, or the coffee date with an old friend you didn’t have the time to keep… the most precious gift you can give your loved ones, not to mention yourself, is your time and your undivided attention.
Can we all just agree that this need to prove ourselves by being too busy to enjoy our life is just not worth whatever our ego is getting out of it? Can’t we all just slow down, let go of as many commitments as possible, get off that damn committee you hate so much and stop overcommitting your kids, they’ll love to have more freedom to just play! Let’s create a more peaceful existence and have more time for the things that matter. And next time someone asks how you are, I hope you can proudly tell them you’ve been taking time to relax and enjoy the little things… and you’re just sooo happy.